Lost in Space'

 

 

 

 

 

OUCH!

Okay, this is an odd one, I am kicking my own ass, I figured this day would come, I just didn't think it would be this soon... This kick was actually intended for a whole group of other women and I will be the face for this group, as much as I wish I wasn't. ALRIGHT HERE GOES...
*~**~*Shebecrazy*~**~* posted on her blog yesterday and kind of requested a kick to the ass to every woman who has ever asked someone they don't know if they have a bun in the ol' oven, I was TOTALLY in agreement with this kick in the ass, for the sole reason that I have heard that question before and I know how it can make a girl feel.
So cut to tonight at work, I was feeling chatty and this woman came in, who was quite plus sized, ( for any plus sizer that may happen upon this, I too am plus sized and see nothing worng with it) But okay, this woman came in, and she was big all over, but then had this huge pregger style belly, and she came up to the front I asked how her day was and she said great and then she said this " The little one and I have the munchies" To which I replied," oh, " and laughed in my wholesome bowl full of jelly way, "when are you due?" W-H-E-N A-R-E-Y-O-U -D-U-E???? AS SOON AS i SAID IT A FOG HORN SOUNDED IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD, and I though holy shit, I can't believe I did it, I actually did it, I am such a insensitive bitch. Yup totally caught myself off guard, and sadly you know what she said.. "3 years ago" YEAH! She had a smart assed comment to make me feel even worse. " So then I said, oh my god, I am so sorry, I totally know how that feels, blah blah blah. " And she was sweet about it... then we talked abit and she said, my brother still has a thing for you. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS/WHO HER BROTHER IS... And I couldn't ask because then I would look like even more of a jerk, because I couldn't remember someone that I had clearly met before... OH THE HORROR! Anyway, that is beside the point, I have done the unthinkable... I have asked that question... I should be burned at the stake... mmm steak... OKAY but what I said was wrong evil and just plan cruel!
SO KERRI, YOU GET SEVERAL KICKS TO THE ASS, AND A SLAP ACROSS THE FACE WITH WAGGING FINGER AND A "OH NO YOU DIDNT"  

A PLUS-SIZED KICK

This plus-sized kick in the ass goes out to any stick thin girl that has ever said to a dieting plus sized friend that she, Queen of the String Beans, needs to shed a few pounds. That is just like coming right out and saying, "HOLY SHIT, HOW DID YOU LET YOURSELF GET LIKE THAT???"
SO F*** YOU Queen of The String Beans, and remember one thing... "FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS MAKE THE ROCKIN' WORLD GO ROUND, you insensitive assholes"
POW! I'LL KICK YOUR BONY ASS BITCH! 

*~**~*A special reader request*~**~*

Looks like a good ol' swift kick to the ass isn't enough for sex offender Brian Peppers.
BRIAN YOU GET A BIG OL'HARD KICK TO THE GROIN, WITH A BIG HUGE BAD ASS PAIR OF STEEL TOED WORK BOOTS YOU SICK BASTARD! 

*~**~*Butcher-er of great songs*~**~*

OKAY, this one may come as a shock to some, but it has been A LONG TIME COMING... Sheryl Crow.
Who in thier right mind would try to cover D'yer Mak'er and Sweet Child??? (and countless other butchered songs)
So I thank you Sheryl Crow for killing 2 of the worlds greatest songs, leaving them forever butchered.
Sad thing, future generations are going to hear those songs and think she wrote them and may never experience the feeling of hearing Robert Plants heavenly voice as it goes through D'yer Mak'er OR Axl Rose's heart and soul filled whine as he sings Sweet Child.
So, Sheryl, for causing the ruination of great music...
YOU DESERVE A SWIFT KICK TO THE ASS! COUPLED WITH A SMACK UPSIDE THE HEAD AND A WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING????

AN EXTRA SPECIAL KICK

THIS IS FOR KELLERS AND GOES OUT TO ANY ASSHOLE THAT HAS EVER STOLEN A LUCH FROM A CO-WORKER... Smarten up you lunch stealing douche bags!

To all the help desk assholes that ever made a girl feel stupid

THIS BOOT'S FOR YOU!!! 

EVIL SISTER IN-LAW ASS KICK

Okay, this is someone who truly deserves a swift kick to the ass, actually more than one, and I must admit, if she was told that it was the cool thing to do, I am sure that she would use this ever so cool self ass kicking machine...
Although it would not relieve my ever so strong urge to run up and kick her in the ass and yell, "STOP BEING SUCH A BITCH TO MY BROTHER" it is a start... So A SWIFT KICK TO THE ASS GOES TO STEPHANIE! 

First ass kick EVER!

Ben Mulroney has got to be the worst thing that EVER came out of Canada... He is super annoying, cracks lame jokes, and has REALY bad hair, when ever I see him, I get so mad I want to scratch out my eyes... My god, he annoys me!!! To the point that Ben has made my list of people that need a good swift KICK TO THE ASS!